Mismatch: My Hero and Heroine at Work
While going through the files for My Reckless Valentine, the second book in my Lovestruck Librarians series, I came across one of my favorite deleted scenes. I hated to waste it, and I thought readers might like a glimpse into the very, very different personalities of my hero and heroine.
I decided this blog would be an excellent place to share the scene. I hope you enjoy it!
Background information: My outspoken librarian heroine, Angie, sleeps with a handsome stranger one night…only to discover the next morning that he’s her new boss, tasked with keeping her in line. Despite Angie’s plans to avoid Grant Peterson as long as humanly possible, the library’s assistant director, Tina Horacek, orders the couple to participate in two long days of team-building exercises together.
And that’s when the real fun begins. Some of it naked and atop a pile of stuffed animals.
When they write this e-mail and list, they haven’t taken their boss-employee relationship quite that far yet…but they will. Oh, they will.
You asked me to show you our answers from the team-building exercises earlier today. Here’s the list of commonalities I share with Ms. Burrowes, the Battlefield Library manager. She wrote everything down by hand, so I’ve scanned the document and attached it to this message. I hope that’s acceptable.
Director of Branch Services at the Nice County Public Library:
P.S. To put it generously, our commonalities proved…limited. My apologies.
P.P.S. Angie assures me you appreciate her sense of humor, as well as her exuberant use of parentheses. I certainly hope she’s correct.
THINGS I HAVE IN COMMON WITH GRANT PETERSON, NICE COUNTY PUBLIC LIBRARY BRANCH OVERLORD AND MY NEW SUPERVISOR:
1. Noses—one each.
2. Other assorted, non-gender-differentiated body parts—i.e., nothing below the equator except our legs and feet. (Although his are ridiculously oversized.) (I’m referring to his feet, not anything else in that region.) (Get your mind out of the gutter, Tina.)
4. Mystery Science Theater 3000—hilarious.
5. Love of books—although not the same genres, because Grant turns a fetching shade of pink at the mere mention of futuristic alien erotica. Instead, he likes fancy-pants novels and texts about data analysis. Blecccch.
6. Love of music—although not the same types, because Grant has no appreciation for the Beastie Boys. He apparently stopped listening to music in his childhood (i.e., the nineteenth century).
7. Families—in the sense that we both boast a human mother and father. At least, Grant tells me his are human, but I’m beginning to suspect Spock somehow impregnated his poor mother. (Not the baby-advice Spock; the nerdy one with pointy ears.)
8. Mandatory attendance at trust-building meetings. Thanks for that one, Tina! Clearly, the two of us now make an unassailable team.
And that’s about it. Is it time for lunch yet? (Kidding.) (Kinda.)
Angie, Your Beloved Employee
My Reckless Valentine blurb:
TEMPTATION FROM A TO Z
Library manager Angie Burrowes is in trouble again. Her superiors have never approved of her unconventional methods, but the latest warning is serious—another complaint from the administration or a patron, and she’s fired. With a steamy Valentine’s Day contest to conceal and her career on the line, the last thing Angie needs is a near-accident while driving home. At least, until she meets the tall, dark, and sexy stranger responsible for her very own spicy plot twist…
Straight-laced Grant Peterson has only one thing on his mind: making a good impression as the new Director of Branch Services at the Nice County Public Library. On the eve of his first day, however, a lusty encounter with Angie unleashes a desire unlike any he’s ever known. Their tryst may be one for the record books, but when he learns he’s Angie’s new boss, will Grant need to check out on love?
While I was growing up, my mother kept a stack of books hidden in her closet. She told me I couldn’t read them. So, naturally, whenever she left me alone for any length of time, I took them out and flipped through them. Those books raised quite a few questions in my prepubescent brain. Namely: 1) Why were there so many pirates? 2) Where did all the throbbing come from? 3) What was a “manhood”? 4) And why did the hero and heroine seem overcome by images of waves and fireworks every few pages, especially after an episode of mysterious throbbing in the hero’s manhood?
Thirty or so years later, I have a few answers. 1) Because my mom apparently fancied pirates at that time. Now she hoards romances involving cowboys and babies. If a book cover features a shirtless man in a Stetson cradling an infant, her ovaries basically explode and her credit card emerges. I have a similar reaction to romances involving spinsters, governesses, and librarians. 2) His manhood. Also, her womanhood. 3) It’s his “hard length,” sometimes compared in terms of rigidity to iron. I prefer to use other names for it in my own writing. However, I am not picky when it comes to descriptions of iron-hard lengths. At least in romances. 4) Because explaining how an orgasm feels can prove difficult. Or maybe the couples all had sex on New Year’s Eve at Cancun.
During those thirty years, I accomplished a few things. I graduated from Wake Forest University and earned my M.A. in American History from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I worked at a variety of jobs that required me to bury my bawdiness and potty mouth under a demure exterior: costumed interpreter at Colonial Williamsburg, high school teacher, and librarian. But I always, always read romances. Funny, filthy, sweet–it didn’t matter. I loved them all.
Now I’m writing my own romances with the encouragement of my husband and daughter. I found a kick-ass agent: Jessica Alvarez from Bookends, LLC. I have my own stack of books in my closet that I’d rather my daughter not read, at least not for a few years. I can swear whenever I want, except around said daughter. And I get to spend all day writing about love and iron-hard lengths.
So thank you, Mom, for perving so hard on pirates during my childhood. I owe you.