I wrote the bestselling novel, The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box, to empower women with proven relationship advice while enjoying an entertaining cast of characters.
My father taught me about the mechanics of sex, but not the emotional component. In the fourth grade, I knew all about fallopian tubes, uterus, vas deferens, etc. I was a geeky, nerdy, bookworm through high school and into college. This introverted homebody didn’t go to football games, socialize or participate in any other non-academic endeavor except track. My situation was so bad that I created an acronym for GEEK: Getting Experience Education and Knowledge.
Because of my shyness and lack of preparation, I made gobs of mistakes with men. I didn’t have a clue as to how men thought or why men did what they did. With a background in engineering, I was dumber than a bag of rocks when it came to dating and relationships.
Like most women, when I had a man issue, I talked with my girlfriends, sister and mother. Albeit they had a genuine concern for my well-being, the relationship advice was muddled with emotions, past experiences and a limited, skewed perspective on the ways of men. After repeatedly choosing wrong men, years of heartache and an overabundance of frustration, I finally attracted a great guy. We have been married now for eighteen years. But here’s the deal: I did not know what I did differently to win his heart.
I wanted to understand what actions led me down the aisle of blissful matrimony while many of my girlfriends were still in distress over unrequited love. So as I conducted a self-assessment, I researched and studied men for years. I got the inside scoop on man-cave, barber-shop, locker-room conversations women aren’t normally privy to and developed the top three things every woman must know about men.
I’ll share one nugget of critical relationship advice: men are hunters by nature. And since the day of hunting and killing prey to feed the family are long gone, men use sports, combat and pursuit of the goody box as substitutes. Each of the four types (packs) of hunters uses specific techniques in the quest for the goody box. Like shape-shifters, men morph between packs depending upon maturity, motive and the response of the woman.
Contrary to popular belief, not all men are dogs. Oftentimes, women spend so much time with the wrong type of goody box hunter that Mr. Right-for-You is overlooked. Why? Because of the inability to differentiate between the packs and the devices used to detect, attack, capture and devour the goody box.
I advise my clients that you cannot get mad about the infestation of fleas, when you continue to shop at the dog pound. If you are tired of being his toy—chewed up, buried and then dug up when he wants to “play” again—then you have to do things differently.
Compiling my journey and research findings, I penned The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box to answer what your father didn’t tell you and your mother didn’t know. The novel is my contribution to help women become man whisperers by offering sound, unbiased relationship advice from men.
Successful. Beautiful. Intelligent. Yet a satisfying relationship eludes Debra Hampton. At thirty-five years old, she can’t figure out why her philosophy on men—and what they want from women—isn’t working. She’s trapped in a cycle of shattered relationships, until a friend refers her to a relationship guru. After some resistance, Debra finds refuge in his counsel as he helps her navigate through the storms of rejection and failed love. Once he reveals the error of her ways, will Debra master the forbidden secrets to attract her soul mate or continue to keep love at bay?
“A brilliant writer. I love her work. The characters are so real, so rich and fleshed out so well. You hit the nail on the head with these women. Can I have the rights to the movie?”
Mother Love, TV and radio host of The Mother Love Show
Valerie J. Lewis Coleman has helped women find relational fulfillment by identifying the four types of male hunters, avoiding seventy percent of men who only want the goody box and winning the heart of Mr. Right-For-You. She explains how she overcame struggles and offers proven techniques to help you get off the crazy cycle of relational demise in her novel The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box! Visit TheGoodyBoxBook.com for the sequel, prequel and upcoming events!
The bestselling author of Blended Families An Anthology, Valerie has helped thousands of families navigate the challenges of child support, visitation, discipline and more. With over twenty years of experience in family and relationships, she has given advice on varying issues including baby-momma drama, defiant children and disapproving in-laws. On her journey to assist others with building strong families, she shares her testimony and provides practical tools to help you stop the stepfamily madness in your home!